HomeWhat's NewPerspectivesWork/Life Balance by Ramona G. Seidel, MD

Work / Life Balance

Ramona G. Seidel, MD
Bay Crossing Family Medicine - Annapolis, Maryland

Web site: www.baycrossingfamilymedicine.com
Facilitated NDP Group - Small practices with less than 3 physicians

In the 16 years that I've been practicing family medicine, I've met dozens of competent female physicians who have simply stopped being doctors.

Why?

For many years, being a family doctor was a full-time— in most cases more than a full-time— job. Since part-time didn't exist, some of my colleagues, who felt forced to choose between work and family, chose the latter.

When I was asked to write this piece on balance between family life and professional life I came to reflect upon what it means to be both parent and physician.  Neither being a mother nor being a physician is a part-time job. 

From the time that my first child was born, I have been striving to achieve the goal of a balanced life.  I now realize that this is more a process than a completed task. 

Even when I work "part-time" as a physician, I do not completely step out of that role when I step out of the office door.  Even when "at work", I am wholly and always a mother and a wife.  Leaving my three children at home (or at school) does not mean family is "out of mind".  The essence of the medical profession is more "WHO I am", than "what I do".  Similarly my roles as mother and wife are part of how I define myself as a person. At the core of the balance between work and family life is the knowledge that the monumental tasks required of each, can not be done alone.

At this point in my career, I do not feel that things are exactly in balance. The hours in my day are not evenly split between my two "main" vocations.  Like my practice, my needs for balance are never in complete equilibrium so I have to be flexible in addressing my work and home life priorities. While I continue to strive for what's best for my family, my patients, and myself, I have learned  how to keep my work and home life priorities straight and my mind sane.  I have shared some of these ideas with the other doctors with whom I work; and, one goal of my current practice is to also help these women find balanced fulfillment in their dual vocations of motherhood and physician-hood.

I'd like to share some of these lessons I have learned along the way, in the hope that other physicians will see that work-life balance is a real possibility.

For me, innovative methods have been a must. I have learned to carve my own paths, even when I meet resistance. For example, after seeking support from a medical director who was receptive to new ideas after losing too many excellent female clinicians to the time "sucker" of full-time practice once they became mothers, I became the first woman in my large medical group in San Diego to create a "practice share" model.  Together, my sharing "partner" and I could manage our medical practices and our family time with a bit of breathing room for both.  We shared office space (and therefore increased utilization of office footage) and covered one another's patients on "off" days.  At least one day weekly, we were together in the office and could review difficult cases and consult with one another.  We used a white board to communicate our "to do" list.  Our practice styles were compatible, though not identical and we learned from one another.  I always liked to say that our patients had the benefit of two minds thinking about their more difficult diagnostic issues.  Eventually, our husbands' jobs caused relocation for each of us, but the tradition of a practice-share situation continued after we moved on. 

In my current practice, where I am the owner, communication with the physicians and staff who help cover my patients while I am at home is an integral part of maintaining balance.  The two female doctors with whom I work are familiar with the patients that they might encounter in my absence and I am only a phone call away.  Continuity that results from frequent communication (good "sign out") is one key to improved quality, satisfaction and safety for our patients. 

I have learned the importance of spousal support. My husband supports me, particularly with duties once deemed traditionally "female".  I always say I married late for a reason:  I was waiting for the man who would willingly partner with me in parenting and support me at home and professionally.

In this same vein, I have also realized that it does indeed "take a village." I surround myself with a network of family, neighbors, and friends who willingly share "play dates", pitch in for emergency babysitting, or watch our children so that my husband and I can get away and re-connect for an evening, weekend, or even a week! By the way, this little village is full of positive people and forces.  I try to avoid getting trapped in endless cycles/discussions of "woe is me" or "woe is our profession".  I need a sounding board for my ideas and frustrations, not a pity party.   I try to keep a positive outlook.  Note I said I "try".

To ensure that my schedule is indeed mine, I have intentionally designed it to be flexible.   I work near home (a four-minute drive if I hit the lights right); use electronic communication with patients; and allow patients access on weekends and evenings if they choose to call me.  (They rarely do, as they all know I have a family life outside of the office.) I have also learned to delegate at home as well as at work.  I have found people I can trust to "get the job done".  I have built a team at work who complement my strengths and build upon my weaknesses.   I have learned that house cleaning and laundry can wait or I can pay to have these things done (when finances allow).  I have stopped trying to be "perfect" for others and just try to do the "best I can" for myself, my family and my patients.  In this I have to be willing to delegate with the knowledge that I can NOT do "it all".

This type of agenda control also means that "urgent" no longer crowds out "important".  (By way of concrete example:  a patient with an urgent problem can not take precedence over the obligation I have made to be "guest reader" for my first grader.)  This takes organization on paper and in my head to arrange schedules, re-arrange schedules, and re-arrange schedules again.  This also requires some degree of control over one's own schedule.  This has been immensely easier as a practice owner than it was in my years as an employee. 

Perhaps most importantly, I've chosen how to spend my time. To start with, I've intentionally selected time over money. I have consciously chosen to make less money and spend fewer hours seeing patients.  Once I realized that working full-time meant the ability to buy nicer things that I had no time to enjoy, I decided part-time office hours were for me.  (This realization came soon after I became pregnant with my first child.)

This "freer" time also enables me to carve out time for myself whenever possible.  Exercise, hobbies, getting together with friends for social activities, and building my spiritual foundation with Bible study have helped create a sense of self to sustain me on those days of "burn out". I do choose activities wisely. I avoid energy-draining activities and try to choose activities that fuel and re-energize me.  I have learned to say "no" (sometimes), though I am realizing lately, perhaps not enough.  After all I committed to writing this article, didn't I?